The story I am about to tell you happened quite a while ago. I was somewhere in the age range of 6-10, so this occurred 8-12 years ago. You’ll have to forgive me if any details were left out, I’ve had plenty of time in between then and now to fill my brain with other, less emotionally damaging memories.
So back then, in the 90s, on this one summer night, my family went over to the Kaplans’ house for dinner. It was one of those mingle and socialize, and then eat a meal together, with all the children at the kid’s table and all the adults at the adult table. We (the Greenbergs) were there, along with the Kaplans, and maybe four other families. Unfortunately for me, the only other children there were my sister, and a few other daughters of the other families. Not being interested in girly things, I spent most of time wandering around the house, doing the rounds like some kind of 4-foot-tall security guard. I wandered out onto the patio, into a gathering of youngish pink-faced mothers gossiping and sipping glasses of wine. I didn’t get much attention so after loitering around, I lost interest and wandered back into the house.
I may have used the computer for a while, or watched some cartoons. There was a ping-pong table and some very enticing coca-colas that I probably wasn’t allowed to drink in the garage, so I probably spent some time in there. Eventually, I again lost interest and decided to look for my mother.
I found her on the porch chatting among the other mothers. I ambled absentmindedly in her direction and wrapped my arms around her thigh, maybe 6-8 inches below the waist. I felt the leg retract, and looked up questioningly at my mother, wondering why she was pushing me away. The face I saw explained it all. It did not belong to my mother.
In shock, I jerked backwards, and to my horror, the leg came with me! Now, keep in mind, I was 6-10 years old back then, and had never heard of prosthesis, so I thought I’d somehow ripped this woman’s leg off. The only logical option was to run, and run I did. In my shock, I never let go of the leg, and bolted off that patio gripping the upper thigh of that fake leg, leaving the poor woman wobbling back and forth, attempting to balance herself on her remaining leg.
You can guess that this caused something of an uproar. Here was this young pipsqueak of a kid hightailing it off with a woman’s leg! The woman’s husband looked up from the grill after hearing the commotion, and took off after me. I ran. I wove through tables and chairs and in and out of rooms. This woman’s husband was barreling after me.
He pursued me all around the house and out the front door, where I guess I finally regained sense and threw the leg over my shoulder. I don’t remember when the man stopped chasing me, but I assume it was sometime soon after I gave up the leg. I don’t remember stopping running either, but I did end up at home after a time.
I guess that’s it. I never saw that woman again.
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