Live To Write '09
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Live To Write '09

Olin College Creative Writing '09 Forum
 
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brave brave sir robin




Posts : 8
Join date : 2009-09-22

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PostSubject: Something to say   Something to say EmptyTue Oct 20, 2009 12:24 pm

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Sunlight kisses
their terse rock perch
baking the mud
that hugs their knees.
Two soft heartbeats
bruise the silence.

Her flinty eyes,
sharp and cool blue
waver, falter
before his eyes
brown as leather.
It surprises him.

The words he forms
die in his throat,
just as well, for
words aren’t enough.
His gentle kiss
speaks wonders though.
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Moonbeam




Posts : 46
Join date : 2009-09-22

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PostSubject: Re: Something to say   Something to say EmptyTue Oct 20, 2009 9:46 pm

Wow! I'm very impressed. Especially, good use of enjambment. The last line seems a little off, though.
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Live To Write '09 :: Poetry Exercises-
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