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 Higher Rollers

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Posts : 25
Join date : 2009-09-23
Age : 27

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PostSubject: Higher Rollers   Higher Rollers EmptyTue Oct 13, 2009 10:01 am

I visited Olin with my best friend’s family. My real family. It was a great, fun experience. But after that was when the real fun began. We headed down to Connecticut to the Foxwoods casino for my best friend’s sister (Kate)’s 21st birthday. When we got to the casino, almost everyone had been experiencing the first benefit of being 21: legal drinking age (or for my best friend, a chance to drink while everyone else was off drinking). We got into the casino and split up, the people who could actually legally gamble went to gamble (curse that restriction) while my best friend and I walked around, exploring the massive casino/hotel. We wandered around the whole thing, getting hopelessly lost sometimes, but mostly just seeing the sights. There were a lot of cool statues, carvings, and other Native American artifacts and there were also some pretty cool fountain nature scenes. You know, the kind with rocks and trees and waterfalls, all put there to look pretty. There was an especially cool glass statue of a Native American shooting a bow and arrow up into the sky, or at least up into this very tall section of ceiling with an ornate window at the top that let light shine down onto him.
We went up an escalator. I wasn’t feeling lazy, so I started to walk up it. My friend, who was pretty drunk, got upset and said, “Hey! Where are you going? Get back here.” And moved to try and stand next to me. But as he moved, I’d move. Then he’d stop and I’d stop, always about three steps ahead. “Cut it out, Quit doing that,” his list of remarks went on and on. But he never managed to figure out that he could just walk up when I stopped. It was hilarious. We ate at a good Chinese restaurant (they had an abundance of good restaurants and stores in the casino), and then went to the arcade. The kids’ arcade. Where the parents drop their kids off so they can go gamble. Well we beat every level of Hunter Hero and played the game where you drop a coin down a slot, try and land it in the jackpot bin, and if it fails the coin falls into a moving platform with other coins on it, hopefully pushing coins off the edge, which also gets tickets. We ran three machines out of tickets and hit the jackpot on 4 different ones. We got enough tickets (3,000ish. For perspective, each jackpot was worth about 200-300 tickets) for a strobe light, an xbox 360 game, and a bunch of random trinkets.
When the night was over, the gambling group returned. They had lost about $100, but decided to bet their remaining $150 on a roulette spin, either black or red. The birthday girl picked black, and they won.

Here’s where the addition starts.

Well, that’s what the bouncer told us. Then he said they toasted one last time and headed out in a limo, back to the hotel. We stood at the door, waiting, not sure what to do. By now my friend, Dan, who had sobered up now, was frequently calling his parents’ phones. “Shit,” he said, “they’re not ringing. Their phones must be dead.”
“What are we going to do now?” I asked. “I guess we could call a cab or a limo or something?” We checked our wallets. Apparently we had burnt more money than we though in the arcade. We had $3.48, a strobe light, a box of Chinese food, and no earthly idea what we were going to do. We sat down on a bench and talked over our situation. After going over every possible option we could think of, we were still stuck, moneyless, in a casino of all places.
“Maybe I’ll find us a couple of girls we can spend the night with,” Dan suggested, chuckling. Laugh it up bro, cause it’s not that easy.
“Good luck with that.”
“Hey, I’m a pretty lucky guy.”
“Oh, well if you think you’re so lucky, why don’t you just go bet what cash we’ve got left and we’ll be home free.” The idea sounded like a joke coming out of my mouth, but it was the best chance we had. Except they probably didn’t even have dollar chips. “Like that’ll ever happen. We’re screwed bro.”
“Not necessarily.” A third voice emanated from a dark shape at the edge of the bench. We both jumped in our seats, turning to face this stranger. Dan’s hand shot to his pocket.
“Who the hell are you?” Dan asked.
“I’m someone who can help you. Name’s Charlie.” He looked up. He had a fresh, clean shaven face and an expensive black suit. He looked like a con artist. No joke. “If you boys are as lucky as you say, then we can add an extra spin to it. Ever tried counting cards?” It’s like this was something straight out of 21. I couldn’t believe this, but that movie was even a true story, so I guess it could happen.
Dan spoke up. “That’s a bad idea man. You’ll get in deep shit if they catch you. And we can’t even gamble, we’re not 21.”
“Come on kid, how do you think they’ll catch you. They can’t tell what you’re thinking. Look, you’ve got nothing to lose. I know a way to sneak you in, and you look old enough. They don’t care unless you’re paying. I’ll give you some chips and just sit down at the table and play. If you’ve seen the movie, then you’ll be able to count.”
“Look, we’ll think about it,” I said, as I motioned Dan aside. We stepped aside, to where we were sure he couldn’t hear us. “If he’s going to give us some chips, why don’t we just take them? We’ll gamble a bit, win some, then cash them and buy a ride to the hotel.”
Dan smiled. “And we don’t give him his money. What’s he going to do, send thugs after us?” We went back to the guy. We asked him what cut he wanted, talked about some stuff. Negotiations.
After we got everything set, he gave us the chips, and took us back through the kitchen of some restaurant, then to some back corridors, and suddenly we turned up in the back of one of the rooms. He said, “I’ll be watching,” and left, closing the door. Weird guy. But we were on to him. We weren’t as dumb as everyone else he probably talked to.
Everything went just like we planned. We walked around and watched some tables, then I sat down at one and started counting and beckoned Dan over after awhile and he started playing. I figure he won more off of luck than actual card counting, and I almost broke even, but it didn’t really matter. Once we got enough money to get a ride home and a bit extra, we got up and nonchalantly walked out. The bouncers didn’t give us any trouble. We made it all the way past cashing out before we head that same voice. “Where do you boys think you’re going?” It was “Charlie” (obviously not his real name), and two goons who actually looked official. Not like those thugs with sleeveless shirts you see out of the movies. These guys were dressed up in matching uniforms and had earpieces and everything. Dan and I had no clue what was going on.
“These are the boys,” Charlie said to the two guys, “They snuck into a blackjack game and started counting cards. They thought they were pretty smart but they’re not getting away, am I right?” That worm was betraying us! And here we thought he was just going to take all the money. I bet there was some cut in it for him. Trick the kids into trouble and then their parents have to bail the kids out.
“You little fucker,” Dan jeered.
I stepped up to him and grabbed the sides of his arms and shook him a little. “Come on man, you know us, right? You gave us those chips.” I turned to one of the thugs. “He was teaching us how to count cards, I swear!”
The thug didn’t look impressed. “You think this is the movies kid? You’re coming with us and we’re calling your parents.” I let go of Charlie and backed off. I looked at Dan. He was ready to go.
“Ok, here, why don’t I call my mom and let her talk to you,” I said to one of the thugs. I pulled a phone out of my pocket and dialed a number, then handed it to one of the thugs. After a few rings he answered. “Hello. Hello? …… English, uhh, Anglais,” he leaned in to his buddy, “You speak Spanish,” and we were gone. Running like the walls were closing in behind us. Before they realized we were gone, we were running down enough corridors to throw them off well enough. Then Dan’s phone rang. It was his dad, asking where we were and saying that he was at the casino to pick us up. We figured out a place to meet him and he drove up. As much as I’d like to say we met up with Charlie again and beat the crap out of him, we didn’t. Oh well.
When we got in the car, Dan asked, “What was that phone? That wasn’t yours.”
I chuckled and pulled a wallet out of my pocket. “I’m just that good.”
“HAHA, no way dude, let me see,” he grabbed it out of my hand and flipped through it. There was a pretty good bit of cash, some credit cards, and some other junk. Maybe with this we could get back at him. Dan’s dad knew a lot of people, and some good lawyers who could probably find something wrong with what he did. Dan handed it back to me and I took a look at the driver’s license.
“Huh, what do ya know,” I said, “his name really was Charlie.”
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Posts : 38
Join date : 2009-09-22

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PostSubject: Re: Higher Rollers   Higher Rollers EmptyFri Oct 16, 2009 11:33 am

At that moment, Charlie's wallet morphed into an angry grizzly bear and bit my head off. The End

Seriously, though, that was a nice ending, it was very surprising! It did have a bit of the 21 taste in it, though, but you mangaed to make it unique enough by avoiding exactly the same things, and making Charlie's strategy different.

I suppose you could have made it more exciting if you fled the casino as it exploded behind you, miracualously damaging nothing at all and leaving no one injured. Except Charlie.
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Posts : 18
Join date : 2009-09-22

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PostSubject: Re: Higher Rollers   Higher Rollers EmptyFri Oct 16, 2009 11:42 am

I like the direction that you took your plot as it is quite exciting. I would recconmend making the two parts flow together better if you were going to rework this. For example, the beginning about visiting Olin is irrelevant to the rest of the plot. You could probably just start with the two of you sitting on a bench, phoneless and family-less. The use of dialogue is very effective in your story and it wouldn't hurt the story to add even more in my opinion. I personally would like there to be more physical description of the characters, particularly Dan. Dan is one of the main characters, but I don't really have a good sense of who he is.

The plot itself is good and exciting, but somewhat unbelievable. It might be better if Charlie just seemed like an ordinary guy, or if you presented some sort of background that made it seem likely that you would be able to learn how to card count so fast (ex: Dan is a math prodigy or you have a lot of background in memory games), as such a skill is very difficult to learn.

Nice work. I think you should consider expanding this.
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